andrewhussiesbosom:

BITCH I’LL FUCKING CUT YOU a slice of cake because youre a cutie and deserve really sweet things and do you need anything else? no? [smooches your face bc youre really cute]

tobeymacguire:

when straight guys ask how lesbian sex works i feel really bad for their girlfriends because if you dont understand how to have sex with a girl in any way other than repeatedly putting your dick in her you are having some really bad sex

jakemalik:

hungryzekes:

kanyewesticle:

holynipples:

kanyewesticle:

jakemalik:

kanyewesticle:

*whispers in ur ear* would you like fries with that

*bites lip* oh yeah baby

*touches ur inner thigh* would you like to super size that

*pokes head through the door* we’re out of toilet paper

what

*pokes head through window* she said she’s out of toilet paper

wtf can we get some privacy here

flyinginafriendshipship:

what if church was called jesuscon

dovahqueene:

higgsbr0son:

Actual 4th Grade science test in South Carolina

if you decide you want to secede again you go for it okay?

oathkeeping:

when a fanfiction you love ends but then you find out it has a sequel

precipitates:

shall i compare thee to a summer’s day

thou art sweaty and warm and disgusting please go away

odairitis:

I’m so unphotogenic what am I going to do when I’m famous

olitiau:

stop fighting over fandoms. stop fighting over headcanons. start fighting over me. fight for my love.

milesjai:

juhnelle:

cptskeletor:

What It’s Like to be Black

nailed it.

omfg

IM DONE.

Lea has so much greatness in such a small package. Her fire cracker mom raised her well. - Jennifer Aspen